And I wonder...

Things are getting so stuffy and suffocating~

For the fact that I'm still 100% dependent on my parents doesn't make things any better😞

I never knew that it'll make me feel so awful and annoyed to an extend where you'll just feel like breaking, but now that I've experienced it, I wonder, why am I not courages enough to breakthrough?

My thoughts might not be matured, but I'm just planning to invest on a new gadget to maybe smoothen my studies progress? But it is deemed immatured and a waste of money...

Having tight financial is really suffocating.. Sometimes I really envy those who enjoy the privilege to go on family trips often. I miss having enjoyable family outings without worrying of overspending.

Is this what they meant by "the poor being poorer and the rich being richer?"

However, to put it another way, when I start working, will I be deemed to be financially independent? 

If only there's a perfect way to ensure a proportionate balance between studying and working, I believe the worries will further lessen, right?

Stressed😭

What's happening?

Why is it that a simple thing said by you affects me greatly? Who are you?

It really makes me wonder most of the time, however, I'm often unable to solve this "problem".

Throughout the years, I thought that by keeping you out of sight, you'll be out of mind, but when you reappear, everything went back to zero😓

What could be the factor that is still kept in me that resist me from moving on? Could it be the longingness of having a close friend or just maybe another sibling? Or maybe I'm just dwelling in the past due to some regretful action and words said?

It just doesn't make sense on how it is easy to move on. Yes, I've told people to move on it for a better future, but now that I'm in such situation, why can't I do what I say to others? No wonder action speaks louder than words😅

Nope, I'm not being resentful, I'm just being like a hermit crab, hiding from the future and dwelling in the past memories.

Hopefully I'll be able to escape my shell for another new and bigger shell, so that I'm able to create new memories filled with happiness🙏

P/s: I'm not writing for sympathy, to express my resentment or whatsoever. Instead, I'm just expressing myself as I'm unable to just speak it out loud (shy). I'm trying to prevent myself from depression due to my inability to move forward. And, yes, I'll keep myself busy with hope that it'll help me to think more about the future✌️🐶

Maybe I should try to self-hypnotise😝

마지막~

Am glad to have lifted a huge burden in life off~😄

Sometimes, it's true that dwelling in the past wouldn't help anything but stop you from moving forward.

Once you learn to let it all out, everything will eventually be fine. 

We can't just keep ourselves in the past as the future is our destination, if we don't try to anticipate the future, our life will be dull😩

No matter what the status is now, I am glad to have befriended with you for 9 years, even though there were bitter moment, there were also sweet moment that are worth cherishing ✌️

Thanks for being there for me for 9 years, but I guess now, it's also time for me to let go of the past, and move on with my life to meet more new friends and enjoy myself as well😊😋

All the best in life to you~ 

May your dreams come true🙏

Smiles to a new start~😋😊😄

Week 2~

The second week of my Year 2 Degree course has just flew by, it's only a few blinks away before I'll be stressed up by assignments and tests :(

Life in UC has been great besides getting to make and mingle with new friends... The subjects seem to be bearable~

Hopefully I've made a right choice to stay and further my studies here along with my friends★

Entering my 20s' soon T.T
In about slightly less than 2 months, I'll be beginning a new phase(?) in life where I have to actually be more matured and wiser? XP

Whatever it is, age is just a number :P

P/s: I just love the 'feel/vibe' this picture radiates... ♥♥♥
Maybe this is what the tutor was saying yesterday about being having a higher self-esteem or is it self-confidence?

[D-7] Back to College

Thought of being in a different environment, however, things does not seem to be going in that direction...

Is it because I am not making any efforts?

Anyways, I am still going to try it out! Maybe with some help from professionals~
However, in the meantime, I will have to go back to my UC to continue on with my studies while applying for other courses at other places as I would not want to take such a huge risk :(

Results out in 2 days time T.T
Hopefully there will not be any surprising incident :'(

P/s (note to self):
If you cannot have things your way, make yourself flexible, accept your surroundings and adapt! Nothing is impossible!!!

So, where shall I begin?

Well, I've finally had enough of rest after my 3D3N Diploma Graduation trip to Redang Island :)

To spend time along with my fellow group mates is really something memorable that I will not forget as they are indeed a group of fun and enjoyable friends that I can never wish for more as they are the best!

Experiencing snorkelling with them for the first time of my life is indeed 최고! Even though I was afraid of swimming (or literally just floating) in sea, but the view beneath is just breathtaking. It is disappointing that I didn't manage to take photos as evidence of the beauty underwater...

Back to the trip...
Although most of us will be parting after this trip, I believe that time will bring us back together soon enough. And by then, don't forget me and all the memories we've had together, regardless whether they are bittersweet~

BTW, I don't know if this is considered a good news or a bad news, but, I'm staying... Hahahahaha~ no, no, no... It's not a joke... After much pondering and multiple posts about what and how I'll decide, I've finally came to a conclusion that I'll after all, be staying back and pursuing my Degree at TARUC...

-END-

Last page... :'(

Today, as the clock strikes 12pm, it marks the end of the final paper of my Diploma course in TARUC...

Throughout the whole 3 hours of the paper, I felt nothing but anxiety to complete the paper, to rush out and shout out that I have finally completed two long and dreadful years of Diploma~ 

(hopefully I don't fail any of the 3 subjects >.<)

However, when I saw my classmates exiting the examination venue earlier than the actually duration given, I suddenly feel a mixture of emotions between happiness and also sadness as we are mostly just walking out of each other's life, and if we are lucky, we might meet in the future, but it really be the same as before?

Unlike other groups and classes, my classmates or compatriots will just leave and proceed home despite it being the last meeting... In previous occasions, there was never, not even once, that we manage to have an meal or party as a whole, all 29 of us... It is really saddening...

But, but, but, this is definitely not a time to rant about it as we decide how we should live our life. As for me, I would not promise you that I will still say simple greetings like, 'Hi!', even if we meet in future. However, please understand that I am not being a snob, instead it is just my way of being shy(?) or in other words, I am not that expressive as I seem... (A tendency to over-think of what people might say if I suddenly act friendly and etc....)

***********************END*************************

***********************START*************************

Here, I would like to take this opportunity to actually thank all my classmates/group-mates of DBU10 (2012-2014) for all their help and support throughout my Diploma studies in TARUC...

All the memories, ups and downs and experiences are very valuable to me as it helps me grow to be an even better person...

To those who I seldom talk to, I deeply regret for not communicating more with you all, but if there is any chance of any gathering in future, do not forget to invite me too, okay? :D

P/s: For all the mistakes that I had committed, my deepest apologies for doing so. Please understand that I might have my room for errors too as 'to err is human'.

Lastly, a shoutout to my compatriots, 

加油⛽️！GOOD LUCK! 화이팅! Bonne Chance! Gambateh!

All the best wishes in life, hopeful to meet you all again in the future :)